Your first boyfriend or girlfriend can set the tone for romance throughout your life. It’s important to spend time with someone who accepts you as you are and as you work to become the best you can be. If your partner is draining you or making you question your value, the relationship may be toxic.
Your Partner Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself
If your partner criticizes you constantly or calls you names, it’s time to back away. Anyone can make a mistake, but a boyfriend or girlfriend who berates you or belittles you can chip away at your confidence in yourself until you don’t know who you are anymore. Demeaning behavior and language, whether in public or in private, is unacceptable. In any relationship, it’s important that you have healthy sexual self-esteem.
At the same time, you should make sure you are both valuing your relationship. Pushing boundaries is wrong. And, according to Fight the New Drug, introducing things like pornography can have a negative impact on your relationship. Your partner should support you in trying new activities and even new looks. While you want them to be honest, if you find that they’re unkind in their comments about your looks or behavior, you may be dealing with an abuser.
Your Partner Controls You
Control can come in many forms. Your partner may try to tell you what you can wear, where you can go, and who you can spend time with. If your partner is uncertain or jealous, do your best to reassure them and try to include them in outings if that might help. If they require you to give up friendships or activities that are important to you and want to monopolize your time, it may be time to step back. Remember, the center of your life and focus needs to be you, not the relationship.
You’re the Only One Making Effort
Relationships require flexibility and the willingness to compromise. Two people in a relationship means two people have to be willing to give a little. If you’re the only person working to make time for the relationship, you’ve taken over the position as parent, not partner. At every point in your relationship, there will be times when one of you needs to require a bit more flexibility and caring. If you need your partner to flex and care about your schedule and needs and they don’t, it may be time to step back.
There are countless things that are worse than being single, and being stuck with someone who uses you and treats you badly is definitely one of them. Be ready to step back if you find yourself wishing your partner was more kind. Kindness and caring are yours by right. If you’re not feeling it, the relationship is poisonous. Honor yourself and step back.