While the benefits and downsides to living with a roommate are pretty even—sometimes leaning more toward beneficial—there’s no denying that a bad roommate is often a constant source of pain and misery in your life. We know that you haven’t had to deal with them yet, but someday you’ll have to move out of your home and into an apartment. When that day comes, you will likely have one or two people living with you. So, knowing the best ways to handle a difficult roommate is a lifesaver for you and anyone else who has to suffer through their intolerance.
Deal With Issues When They Arise
No matter what the fight between you two is about, dealing with it right away is better than putting it off. Delaying an argument might seem easier, but all it does is build up emotions in both of you, making the problem even worse once it comes out.
In cases where the other person isn’t doing something horrifically wrong, this becomes even more vital. If you don’t tell them that something they’re doing is bothering you, they won’t know or make any attempts to stop it. If you tell them right away, there is a better chance that you can resolve the issue with little to no dispute.
Talk Face-to-Face
Never argue over text. It’s impossible to know how well or poorly your roommate is taking something you’re telling them over a message. Even if they seem to take the criticism well, you don’t know if they’re screaming at their phone while typing it. Resolving issues this way will lead to more frustration and confusion once things come out in person.
If you feel like you get your point across better in writing, you can still write it down, but you should read it or give it to them in person. That way, you will both see and hear how the other person feels about the situation at hand.
Avoid Getting Angry
Keeping yourself calm is the key way to handle a difficult roommate. Getting angry takes whatever problem you have and turns it up to eleven. Rationality gets thrown out the window, feelings get hurt, and nobody leaves the interaction feeling good about themselves. You can’t control how the other person will react, but remaining calm will automatically keep things at a more acceptable level.
Reflect on the Conversation Afterwards
No matter how unreasonable your roommate might seem during the argument, make sure you listen to what they’re saying. After the fight is over, think back to the things they said. Try to figure out why they reacted that way and figure out ways to handle it better next time.
Also, don’t fear criticizing yourself either. There’s always a chance that you are in the wrong. We’re not all perfect, and we make mistakes in our judgment at times. If you realize that you were wrong, own up to it and apologize; that’s sometimes the kick in the pants they need to clean up their act as well, leading to a healthier and more manageable roommate arrangement.